05/13/2020
mary
Forever in my heart
i miss your smile,
i miss your laugh.
i miss you
and that happiness you always had.
one day your smile had faded away,
i still remember how i felt that day.
your warmth and comfort that was always near,
your life and joy seamed to disappear.
you took your last breath
to end your suffering,
if i said it hadn't affected me,
i'd just be bluffing.
if i could change everything,
you know i would.
i would change it for you.
i know i should,
but what if the sadness i had infected everyone else?
what if like a disease it spread all about?
maybe i wouldn't do it.
it would just be greedy.
i'm sorry if i sound so desperate and needy,.
you have to see this is hard for me to get through.
when every friend i had had was you.
you left me!
you forgot me!
take me with you!
they say you're in a better place
and someday i'll be there too.
i guess i'll wait for that someday.
i can't do this to someone else,
put them through the pain
that truly doesn't have any gain,
no matter what they say.
i want to scream,
i want to cry,
i have gotten to low points,
where i just want to die.
but the sad tears are gone,
now that the damage is done,
and all i can do is smile,
i can remember all of the fun,
the fun we had when it was just you and me.
i cry, but they're happy tears
when i'm looking back on all of our